My beef with Baby Showers

I was standing in the lunch room, lost oh-so-wonderfully in making my afternoon cup of coffee , when my reverie was rudely interrupted by our company accounts maven. Normally, she would enter the lunch room and go about her business, exchanging nary a word with anyone already present.

"Hello Narayan," she said in greeting. "Hi," I said, giving her a smile that told her I knew she had something more to say. She lazily poured her coffee and delivered the meaning of the word "blindsided": "So, when are you gonna have a baby?" she asked, with a certain evil stress on the word you, which conveyed the idea that I was long overdue.

My reaction to such questions is usually exactly the opposite of what I am feeling inside - unrestrained anger. "Not anytime soon," I said, fully realizing that I cannot lash out at this moment against this woman, despite it being fully deserved. The woman would not quit when she was ahead. She asked "Why not?". I hate the "Why not?" question more than I hate the "How come?" question.

Normally, a colleague would have no grounds to ask such personal questions, at least in North America, where privacy and individuality are both guarded with great zeal. But you see, my wife and I work for the same company, and she had just attended a "Surprise" baby shower (very similar in its surprise quotient as death is to the condemned). Apparently the discussion in the shower centered around who would next have a baby, and everybody teased my wife that she would be the one.

This is something that I really hate about baby showers. When a married-and-childless woman goes to one, it looks like all the women in the shower thrust that question on these poor unsuspecting souls, badgering them about having babies, which has very predictable results for their husbands. TROUBLE!

In my case, it wasn't trouble from my wife, but trouble from other women who went to the baby shower. What is the point? Why not concentrate on the one going to have the baby, rather than all those who don't have one yet? Talk about wasted time and breath. I had three women walk up to me and ask if Raji was the one going to have a baby next. One woman even had the audacity to insist, let alone suggest, that I "should" have children and that my life is incomplete without one.

First of all, it's intensely personal and none of their business.

I have had it with all these well meaning people. Next time, the kid gloves are OFF.